Chasing moonshadows

Today felt like spring finally asserted itself.
I went to the Princeton Mini dealer just to take a look. I tried to put on my best "I'd like some help, please" face, but no one came out to help me. Harumph.
I feel almost completely relaxed at the moment, and I think this is because I just went outside to enjoy the near perfect weather, the clear sky, and a glass of wine. It did get a bit chilly, the sky did somewhat cloud over, and the wine was a disappointment, yet I'm still relaxed.
On a side note, I think I'm becoming a wine snob. The last red wine I had a nose more like paint thinner than wine (maybe I exaggerate). This white that I just had tonight started real strong, with a real evident citrus flavor, but had no depth whatsoever.
But I digress.
Living in this house, with no other tenants, has its advantages. I was able to take my chair out back, where the driveway is hidden from view from the street and it's rather dark. So, on a clear night, kind of like tonight, the stars shine brightly. Looking up to the sky and being gently reminded of my relative insignificance, I thought of several things I would like to do in my lifetime, if I take away any fear I might have.
* I want to fly in an old-fashioned open-cockpit airplane. This would come as a complete surprise to anyone who knows me, because my fear of flying increases expontentially as the size of the plane decreases. By logic, a plane with an open air cockpit should absolutely mortify me. However, I imagine the experience to be absolutely freeing. Actually come to think of it, I wouldn't mind flying in a two seat Cessna, because they don't fly very high and they give you a spectactular view of everything. Considering I call those planes Buddy Holly Death Traps, you could see how much of an about-face this wish is.
* I want to drive around the world in a motorcycle. I'm generally risk averse, and I don't consider motorcycles the safest things in the world. Also, I don't actually know how to drive one. I'm generally uncoordinated, and requiring my hands and feet to work in unison to switch gears on a motorcycle might be a bit much.
* Sing in front of a crowd. Better yet, sing a song that I intend for one person, in front of a crowd. I have a hard time speaking in a crowd; I couldn't even imagine singing. Yet, call me a sentimentalist, I'd love to be moved so much that I'd willing to confront such a fear to sing to a person and make my feelings obvious. I don't even sing that well!
* See the Aurora Borealis, the "northern lights."

There are many things I'd like to do. Maybe I'll continue this tomorrow.

A little luck

Everrybody wants a dose of good luck, right?
I saw a black cat earlier this evening, and it actually decided not to cross my path! It walked, stopped, looked up and saw me, and promptly turned around. I scare premonitions of bad luck!
Granted, I was driving in my car when this happened, so that could very well have something to do with this. That would be a logical conclusion. But why be logical!
It kind of reminds me of a picture I have on my cube wall: it's a black cat sleeping under a ladder. Mixing bad luck metaphors.

Almost a new car

Well, I almost signed on the dotted line for a new car yesterday, a cool little 2003 Mini Cooper S, charcoal gray with white top.
Almost. It just reaffirmed that I'm basically hopeless at the car dealer. I wanted to put a hold on it for the weekend so that I could go back on Monday to finalize the deal and get some last minute paperwork together. But then, there was all this paperwork (I really hate paperwork), and "sign here, here, and here." Just for a hold. Ack!
That's where I started getting nervous. What the hell am I signing? Am I totally binding myself to this car? Giving away my first born? Agreeing to a price?
So, my indecisive brain found a way out. Ech. I may lose the car, but there will be others out there for sure. If it doesn't sell over the weekend, I'll go back on Monday, like I said, and finalize the whole thing. I guess I'll kind of leave it up to fate.
At least some of the paperwork is ready.

Warning! Politics and war...

And the award for "headline that states the blindingly obvious" goes to:
Bush and Congress at odds over Iraq war
Let's boil it down to the elements: Bush's plan is not so much a plan as it is throwing shit on the wall to see if it sticks. The Democrats hate this plan, but as of yet are throwing up only roadblocks, showing distressingly little impetus and imagination to come up with a solution on their own. Were the hell are the leaders? I'll be damned if I call any politician out there a leader.
This is a quote from Harry Reid, the Senate Majority Leader:

"By diverting attention from al-Qaida and stretching our troops to the breaking point, the Iraq war has made America less safe, not more,"

That's funny. I could have sworn I've seen the same sentence written in the future conditional tense in 2003 and the present tense in 2004. Mr. Reid, we bloody well know that already. Now do something!

Nothing

How can a week go by remarkably quickly yet still feel long? By Thursday night, I was completely drained, with one more day to go in the work week.
So, by Friday, I had a goal to be insufferably lazy the entire weekend. Frankly, I didn't even necessarily want to leave my apartment; it's where all my stuff is.
The snow/ice storm we had on Friday did throw a slight wrench into the whole process though. When I finally left work and got home, I drove all the way to the bottom of the driveway, mistakenly thinking my lil Mazda would be able to make it back up the slight incline.
Nope. I made it halfway and then got stuck on a layer of ice that was at least an inch thick. Come the next morning, I knew I would have to get the shovels out and try to clear away some snow and ice to get my car in a manageable spot.
The only thing I managed to do was get my car further down the stupid hill. This is where it is immeasurably helpful to have a roommate who went to school in Ann Arbor Michigan. With his help, we were able to get my car to a better spot and eventually out of the driveway all together.
Overall, my driveway is useless when it snows.
After that brief little, silly foray into energy expension, I was able to resume my goal of laziness.
And I'm happy to report I was quite successful.
I spent most of the weekend watching college basketball, and there were a slew of really good games, so that was fun.
As entertaining as doing nothing is, I might have to switch it up a bit this week.

March Madness

I think one of my favorite sporting events is the NCAA College Basketball Tournament. I think this might have something to do with me and my family moving to Chapel Hill, home of the Tar Heels, when I was an impressionable little dude of 6. College Basketball in that neck of the woods (Duke is just down the road, and Wake Forest and NC State aren't that far away) is just as big a deal as football is at UF.
Back then, my allegiance was with the Tar Heels, helped along by my sister going to UNC. I still root for the Heels, and I'm oddly happy when Duke loses, as they did tonight in the first round of the tournament. Heh!
While I still might call the color of the sky on a clear day "Carolina blue," I've obviously switched my allegiance to the Gators. I remember when they got to the Final Four for the first time. I was a sophmore and I lived in the dorms. Everyone had the games on in the dorm rooms, and I can remember the sounds of the cheers from across the way when they won the Elite Eight game.
As one could imagine, I went completely ape sh*t when the Gators won the thing last year. Of course, I'm gunning for them to win it again this year, although repeating is actually very hard to do.
I must say it has been a very good year for Gator sports.

Thinking on an empty stomach

I was on my way to Hoagie Haven for a quick bite to eat, as I was starving, and I got to thinking (is it a good idea to think on an empty stomach?)
I like Hopewell, Princeton etc. I have a decent job, and if I had to, I'm sure I could find another, as we are smack dab between two of the biggest US cities. I enjoy discovering new places and taking my leisurely Sunday drives. All in all, not a horrible place to be.
While there are some practical and quite convincing reasons that keep me here, I came to the revelation that no one ever said I had to stay. It's not like I have chains around my ankles binding me to this place. I know it's not such a hige revelation or anything, but it has helped me realize that I live here willingly and happily on my own free will, yet at some point, that free will may or may not lead me elsewhere.
That being said, I just looked at some real estate in Knoxville. Bloody hell...I could actually afford to own my own place there. A good quality of life mized with a low cost of living. What a concept.

Sunday

A couple of notes from my weekend...
* It's kinda cool being able to watch the little nephews and nieces grow up and develop their own personalities. Yesterday, i taught my brother's oldest, who is 10, to text message (much to the delight of his mom...not so much), so we texted each other this weekend. He also likes to cook, so he wanted me to help him make chocolate-covered strawberries. I'm not what one would call a "cook," but they did turn out all right.
* I love the time change, although it'll take a few days to get accustomed. I got up so bloody early this morning it didn't really make a difference if I was losing an hour. I'm really going to appreciate the extra hour when walking out of work.
* I took another drivve today, and I love Bucks County across the river in PA. All these very quiet roads that lead to old towns...I think I wound up at a place called Carverville today, by taking a curving road from Lumberville. I really need to get a map, as I intend to explore the area more in the spring and summer. Perfect for biking.
* I love Family Guy. Who'd have thought to combine Bill Clinton, a saxophone, and the Night Court theme? Brilliant.... Conway Twitty??!! Wow.

Thursday, Thursday

I seem to be in another creative slump recently, and I've tried to force myself out of it. However, I find that staring at empty pages does nothing to stir the creative juices. Conversely, I think it makes it even harder, as whenever I start a sentence, I think it sucks, and delete it.
So, a couple of observations, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Or maybe not.
* I've realized that I was around to hear the original songs that artists are now making overly earnest acoustic covers of. A couple of examples: "Eye in the Sky" originally done by the Alan Parsons Project, with a great, great cover by Jonatha Brooke; "Boys Don't Cry" by The Cure (woohoo!!) and covered by Grant Lee Phillips, of Grant Lee Buffalo fame (it's a good version, too.) While it might show I'm getting old, it also shows that it was great to be an 80s child. :) Great music, folks.
* My apartment is actually quite big, relatively speaking, and on the second floor of a building with no other tenants. Score! This means I can play music as loudly as I want, basically, and while I don't take advantage of this nearly enough, I am right now. Yes!
* I've started conducting phone screens and interviews as one of my duties at work. It was rather nerve wracking at the start, but slowly it's getting easier, I think. I'm a rather shy person, but I can be fairly personable if required to be, and I have a feeling I don't give myself nearly enough credit for that stuff. (I am also quite modest, so I find it hard to give myself too much credit for anything.) I'm happy to be learning a new skill that I can take with me to my next role, whereever and whenever that may be.
* Speaking of next role...I've wanted to work for Scripps Networks in Knoxville since I graduated school in 99. I've found a rather interesting Editor job down there, and I thought I might apply for it. I believe I would have had a fair shot at it, too, given my experience, but after thinking about it, I decided against applying, for a multitude of reasons. I figure if I'm not yet quite certain about moving down there, as much as I like the area, I shouldn't be applying for things.
* The song "Stop This Train" by John Mayer hits the nail on the head. I can completely relate. I must say that something I'll always be greatful for by moving up to Jersey is being around my parents and getting to know them as an adult. It casts parents in such a different perspective, and without them around in my mid to late 20s, I would have completely fucking lost.

Blister

I just heard the Violent Femmes' song "Blister in the Sun" being used for a WEndy's commercial.
Twice, in one hour.
Wow. That's messed up.

The lives of others

I usually wind up at movies that make me think by accident, but every now and again, I want to see one like that on purpose. I checked out the German movie "The Lives of Others (Das Leben der Anderen." I think it's the first German movie I've ever seen n the theater, and I was happy that I was actually able to understand most of it without the subtitles (although they certainly did help.)
Set in East Germany in 1985, it tells of a Stasi agent who is ordered to set up surveillance, under dubious reasons, on a popular East German playwrite and his actress girlfriend. During the course of the surveillance, the agent begins to empathize with the playwrite's realization that he can no longer sit on the fence between party loyalty and freedom of speech, and through this empathy, the agent begins to gain a sense of humanity, which sets him off on his own struggle.
I don't want to say much more, but I thought it was fantastic. Great direction and film work. Makes one realize how great we have it here in western civilization, where we can speak our minds without the fear of being hung for it.

It's a big, big, bad, bad, bad world

We had this guy in interviewing last week. Apparently, he was with a company that was in the process of outsourcing all of its copyediting and proofreading work to India. If that's not enough for you to love corporate America, they were also making him train his replacement.
Wow. Ouch. That's a company whose Human Resources head honchos must think of its employees more as resources than as humans. That's just fucking cold and heartless, but unfortunately, it's not terribly uncommon. +
When I heard this, I kinda freaked out a bit. There's absolutely no way I want to end up in a similar situation as this guy...I've been through enough in what I can tenuously call my "career." I have to find a way to make myself unoutsourceable, and that just might require me to once again realize that my dad was right yet again, this time about grad school.
He has been clamoring for me to go to get an advanced degree, just to make myself a bit more marketable and distinguish myself from others. I'm not quite sure what I want to study (or how to pay for it, really), but I'm slowly coming to the realization that it's something I might need to do.
As a joke, he said he'd buy me an old Alfa-Romeo spider if I finished grad school.* I think that might have been the car of the week that I was looking up on ebaymotors the last time he was in the states and had this grad school conversation. Shiite...I should have been looking up BMWs.
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+ This makes me thankful for being with the company I'm with. We have it relatively easy there and a good environment within which to work. The work might be repetitive and not especially challenging, but when looked at with the healthy dose of perspective one gains with experience (and some experience isn't going to be good, friends) it could be much bloody worse.
* It's a fun joke, but a joke nonetheless. There's no chance he'd buy me a car, much less a convertible, for something I should do on my own initiative anyway. I won't hold him to it, but it might be nice to see him sweat a bit.