Mark Twain

I was fully intent on going to the Mark Twain Musuem and House in Connecticut this summer, but I never did actually make it out there. Bummer.
But, I have just come upon a site with a whole bunch of Twain quotes here. These are some of my favorites:

• Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
  
• Only presidents, editors and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'.
  
• Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
  
• "Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humour itself is not joy but sorrow."
  
• "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect."
  
• "The only reason why God created man is because he was disappointed with the monkey."
  
• "I have no race prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse."
  
• "The report of my death was an exaggeration."
  
• "Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out…and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel. …And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for 'the universal brotherhood of man' — with his mouth."
  
• "The loud little handful will shout for war. The pulpit will warily and cautiously protest at first…The great mass of the nation will rub its sleepy eyes, and will try to make out why there should be a war, and they will say earnestly and indignantly: 'It is unjust and dishonorable and there is no need for war.' Then the few will shout even louder…Before long you will see a curious thing: anti-war speakers will be stoned from the platform, and free speech will be strangled by hordes of furious men who still agree with the speakers but dare not admit it...Next, statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception."
  

Genius is timeless, I guess.